Healing & Ultimate Glow up 😊
Have you ever felt the pain that couldn't go away from your deep heart?
Pain that you couldn't explain too. It's stuck inside and takes away your happy soul. It's felt like a garden of wounds that slowly drowned you. Toxic environment, negative assumptions, problems, and mistakes. Which is then comes to be depression, anxiety, and stress.
But, for how long do you need to be in that situation? It's not healthy for all aspects of our life. So, the only way to deal with the pain is by turning on the button 'change' (Hijrah) in our life.
It is going to be exhausting and tiring on your way. However, it's not impossible as long as we focus and istiqomah to Hijrah on a good path and healthy life (inside & outside). Set in mind that changing for the better is not without its challenges. Here are a few things I've had taken note to share so we can do to make it easier and help us to navigate the pain of changing to get healing in a good way, inshaa Allah:
- Make the intention to draw CLOSER to Allah SWT
- Make the intention to strengthen YOUR CHARACTER
- Make the intention to honor YOUR FAMILY
- Make the intention to work with YOUR WEAKNESS
- Make the intention to reduce TOXIC THINGS
INTENTION 1: DRAW CLOSER TO ALLAH S.W.T.
Life is a journey from Allah to Allah. Knowing that every little part of our being has been created tp worship Allah S.W.T. and all the blessing we enjoyed was also from Him. Keep in note that every step or choice we take in this Universe has a purpose. And the purpose is to bring us closer to Him, our Creator. To fulfil this purpose, we need to please Allah in everything we do start with Al-Niyyah (the intention of heart to do an act for the sake of Allah)
Allah reminds us in the pearls of Quran:
"O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous" (2:21)
"There are some who say, "Our Lord! Grant us Your bounties in this world", but they will have no share in the Hereafter. Yet there are others who say, "Our Lord! Grant us the good of this world and the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire." (2:200-201)
Your intention to draw closer to Allah will be your lifeline during the year, inshaa Allah. There will be potholes on the road, but if you turn to Allah, He will always lift you out of the potholes, bring you fresh energy, new hope, and barakah. By making this be your crown intention in your heart, you will never lose your spirit, achieve much more in Dunya for Al-Akhirah.
There are three ways to manifest this INTENTION 1:
1. Work on your spiritual acts of worship
For example; focus and khushoo' in your salah, keep on track five times a day, you tadabbur (reflection of Quran), remembering Allah with dhikr throughout the day, etc.
2. Work on your character (Discussed more in INTENTION 2)
From our spiritual acts of worship it should grant us the strength to preserve, to problem solve, to make decisions with wisdom, to live more mindfully, to forgive others sincerely, to be more patient and understanding, etc.
3. Work on your contribution
Ask yourself every day; "How have I been a giver today?" "What is my contribution to humanity?" "What real-life problems am I working towards solving?" "Which person in need can I support today?" Giving to others is one of the best ways to get close to Allah and receive His mercy.
INTENTION 2: STRENGTHEN YOUR CHARACTER
This is the process to learn more about yourself in order to strengthen your character on the good path. Allah created us all differently with a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses. So, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Because it is our responsibility to use the positive character traits within us to make this world a better place. Also, it is our duty to work on building and strengthening the character traits that we find harder to have. As we can see, there are some of us difficult to forgive others and might be considerate but find it hard to accept or organized, even to let go of the worst past that has been passed. Now, it's time for us to reset the settings within ourselves in kind to build good characters.
Good characters are fundamental to the religion of Islam and the means by which we can achieve salvation in the life to come. Allah praised the Prophet's character and set him as the example for all believers to follow. Allah said:
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
Verily, you are upon great moral character. (68:4)
Ibn Kathir comments on this verse, saying:
وَمَعْنَى هَذَا أَنَّهُ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ صَارَ امْتِثَالُ الْقُرْآنِ أَمْرًا وَنَهْيًا سَجِيَّةً لَهُ وَخُلُقًا تَطَبَّعَهُ وَتَرَكَ طَبْعَهُ الْجِبِلِّيَّ فَمَهْمَا أَمَرَهُ الْقُرْآنُ فَعَلَهُ وَمَهْمَا نَهَاهُ عَنْهُ تَرَكَهُ هَذَا مَعَ مَا جَبَلَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ مِنَ الْخُلُقِ الْعَظِيمِ مِنَ الْحَيَاءِ وَالْكَرَمِ وَالشَّجَاعَةِ وَالصَّفْحِ وَالْحِلْمِ وَكُلِّ خُلُقٍ جَمِيلٍ
The meaning of this verse is that the Prophet would emulate the Quran in its commands, its prohibitions, and it became his temperament. His character became accustomed to it and he abandoned his visceral carnal nature. Whatever the Quran commanded he did, and whatever it prohibited he abstained. Along with this, Allah ingrained within him great character traits of modesty, generosity, courage, forgiveness, forbearance, and every beautiful trait. (Tafsir ibn Kathir 68:4)
Three ways to fulfil INTENTION 2:
1. List down all the positive character traits you want to adopt and implement in your life.
Such as; forgiving, honest, neat and organized, empathetic, good listener, humble, more helpful, etc.
2. Highlight the character traits you believe you already have in one colour.
Just flashback your past, and pick all the examples that you've applied. For example, if you consider yourself a very helpful person perhaps you assisted someone to pack their belongings when they were moving. Or if you consider yourself a positive person, perhaps you are someone who smiles regularly and always tries to encourage others.
3. Highlight the character traits you think you need to work hard to work on because they don't come as naturally to you in another colour.
Think of practices you can do in the upcoming year that will help you to implement these character traits that you struggle with. For example, if you're not very neat and organized, you may plan to observe someone who is very neat and ask them for some tips. You might also decide to designate one place for each of your belongings and try to put the belonging back in its place as soon as you're done using it and find someone to help hold you accountable as you adjust to the new habit.
Good character is the result of a pure heart that make us free from spiritual diseases such as envy, malice, hatred, and arrogance. Being a person with a good character had integrity and for sure it is not overly attached to worldly things at the expense of righteousness. Inshaa Allah! (Chayook!)
INTENTION 3: HONOUR YOUR FAMILY
A family is a little world created with love. a group that sharing unconditional love, hugs and support.
Allah reminds us:
"Give to close relatives their due, as well as the poor and needy travelers. And do not spend wastefully " (17:26)
Do you notice how Allah orders us to give to our families before the poor or needy travelers? That shows how important for us to prioritize taking care of our family. We don't neglect the poor and the needy but at the same time, we must make sure that there is no poor or needy with our close circle. The true measure of a good Muslim is how good are his or her character and manners, particularly in their relationships with the FAMILIES. So make this intentions= to shower your family with love and care.
Three tips to honour your family:
1. Express your love for them
Spend quality time with them, give them gifts, grant them financial support if they need it, ease their burdens through act of service, express your love through words of affection, hug them, smile at them, pray for them, pray with them, encourage them, etc.
2. Be there for them when they need you
For example, when your brother or sister needs a good listener and needs some enlightenment of some matter or issue. You could be there, listen and share your similar experience, and give any suggestions or opinions based on the problems they face. If they have serious issues or troubles, you could help them and bring them out from any dangerous situations that could happen to them.
3. Be the bigger person (Wise person)
Relationships are hard work. They do take a lot of patience, understanding, effort, and forgiveness. You may have family members who just don't put the effort you do into the relationship. Even worse, you may have family members who you feel have wronged you in some way. Find the healing you need from the hurt they might have caused you. However, if you can, try not to hold bitterness within you. You can't change your family members and what they do. However, you can control your own response to the situation. Focus on what you can do to be a bigger person and be the best family member you can possibly be regardless of how your other family members are. You will be held accountable for how you treat your family, not for how they choose to treat you. Moreover, Allah will reward you greatly for your patience.
INTENTION 4: WORK WITH YOUR WEAKNESS
Definitely, none of us are perfect and will always remain flawed but we can constantly learn and evolve to become a better person for not just ourselves but everyone around us. Exploring our inner self can help us determine our weaknesses and to learn how to deal, manage, utilize and evaluate them.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Ibn Majah]
Here's some example of common weaknesses that we might go though; procrastination, self-criticism, over-thinking, comparison, etc.
Three ways to deal with INTENTION 4:
1. Identify your weaknesses
Reflect on yourself and think about what your weaknesses are. Ask those who are close and trustworthy person to you to share the insight on what your weaknesses might be.
2. Learn to overcome or manage your weaknesses (turn your weaknesses into your strength in worship of Islam)
After understanding your weaknesses, it is possible to regulate and manage them and learn how to work with them. For example, you are the one who is naturally a holding and stingy person. You then realize and accept this weakness. However, you want to be more giving because giving others has a great rewards in Islam. Therefore, in order to work with your weakness, you sign up for monthly donations with a charitable organization whereby money is automatically deducted from your account every month so you don't even have to think about it and feel the pinch of 'losing' money instead think about the reward you will get in Jannah. Inshaa Allah.
3. Learn to forgive yourself.
Whatever you've done before, accept it and let it go. You are not perfect and remember that you are capable of making mistakes. Stop hiding from the shadows of the past. Now let the light pass through and shine upon you. Be your own biggest supporter and cheerleader. Forgive yourself and embrace the beautiful imperfect human that you are because we are all imperfect. Allah is the only One free of all imperfections. Noted that, Allah understands the mankind that He created and through His infinite mercy chooses to forgive us. So we should forgive ourselves too and show yourself grace; you are still learning, and you are on a journey in being yourself.
INTENTION 5: REDUCE TOXIC THINGS
The reason why the word "reduce" is used and not "get rid of" because reducing toxic things is a lot more realistic, especially at the beginning of making a change. There are certain habits or things you consume and expose yourself to that are more harmful than enriching. Like a silent killer, they slowly drain your energy sources, harden your heart and distract your from your true life purpose. While ideally, you should cut these things out completely wherever possible, a lot of these toxic things have become a major part of our daily lives. The best thing to do if you can't cut it out completely is to start limiting them.
How to monitor INTENTION 5:
1. Make a list of all the toxic things you want to reduce in your life and put it in a place where you can regularly remind yourself to cut down on them.
This is the personal list I made. feel free to make one that matches your values and lifestyle:
- Junk food and sugar
- Waking up and sleeping late
- Self-loathing
- Negative people
- Clutter
- Overworking
- Unsatisfying career
- Complaining
- Regrets
- Jealousy
- Giving up with pain
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Healing is a process and it is never too late. Let's start with our physical bodies by taking care of our health, optimizing our nutrition, getting enough quality sleep, and physical exercise regularly. Diet, sleep, and exercise is the pillars of physical health. Then by that, we can provide more extra focus to work on the five intentions above. It all begins with YOU and by YOUR OWN RULES. Either you can focus on your flaws and get frustrated or you can learn and change them into great thoughts of life. Overcome any weakness by holding on to faith and believing in YOURSELF. Slowly but surely, from growing to glowing. After all, there's no guarantee that we will live until tomorrow yet alone until next year. So let's get started! Fighting! Chayoo!
Inshaa Allah
Spread L. O. V. E. ❤️
Ms. ناوا
Aku Seorang Penulis Bebas
References:
https://www.abuaminaelias.com/
https://community.qalby.io/pages/about-us
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